I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
that is very illegal...i love you.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
