Screwed.edu
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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