oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
