Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
