$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I cut my penus on the lid.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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