Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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