Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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