just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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