She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
