Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just had sex on a roof
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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