Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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