question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
