I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
