He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
