You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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