dude i'm inner monologue high
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Pooping to opera.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
