The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
