Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My vagina is very pro this idea
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
