Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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