On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
