i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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