nut hugger
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
