dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
