forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
