is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize