im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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