Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
