We named our party play list daddy issues
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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