The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
