it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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