after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
