At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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