I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
