We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
