Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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