I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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