they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
