FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize