thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize