This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
