coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
