We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
