wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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