Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
