He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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