i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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