Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize