You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
