I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
