That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My ass is underappreciated
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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