I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
