Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
