Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
