On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
