Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
