if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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