We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
